Disorientation

After a summer on the go, it feels as if my life has ground to a screeching halt. I've been home since Tuesday night, and I simply don't know what to do with myself. It's lonely out here on the farm. I have a "to-do" list a mile long, filled with the details of unpacking, repacking, making future travel plans and what-not, but the list isn't getting done. I think the biggest problem is this: Now that I have time to think, there's one BIG question in my mind. "What do I do with myself now?" When I was in college, my life had some structure and I had a goal to work toward: my senior recital and a degree. Now the ball is in my court. The choice is mine and quite frankly that's scary. I've pondered lots of options: Lutheran Volunteer Corps (which a couple friends of mine are now doing), the Student Conservation Association, Peace Corps, Grad School. And of course there's always Gordon-Conwell Seminary, which I am still accepted at for fall 2005.
In the meantime I do have some things planned to keep life interesting. The first is three weeks volunteering at Holden Village in Washington state. I'm on the lawns and gardens crew. I'm looking forward to working outdoors and NOT working with children. (Nothing against kids, I'm just a bit tired of them after this summer)
Later this fall, in October I'm flying to Finland to visit a friend there who's a teacher. She teaches English, so I'm going into her classroom to do a presentation on America for her kids and also to help them practice their English speaking skills. Should be fun!