I don't look for the spotlight. I generally avoid it. But somehow I keep ending up on Spokane's television airwaves. Last fall I volunteered with Youth For Christ and just happened to be the only person home when the director called looking for volunteers to appear in their "Faces of YFC" commercial. I simply looked at the camera, smiled and said "Hi, I'm Stephanei and I'm a face of YFC"
Today I returned from lunch just in time to be beckoned into the conference room. One of the new tv stations in town gave my place of employment an ad and we all lined up against the wall and joined hands to promote volunteerism. The ad will show in 2 weeks. I think the station is KHQ, but I"m not sure....the "new" station is what they said. I don't watch tv, so I probably won't see it.
9.19.2006
9.13.2006
roller coaster
I have what I need, and yet I never stop yearning. What are we longing for?
I'm seeking stability. In 24 years I have not yet managed to create for myself a peaceful place where I am safe and sane. The twenties seem to be the decade of "in-betweens" and "what next?"
I have an income and a place to rest at night. What I need is to stop searching and look at what I have. I need to take the tools and the bits and pieces I've been given and carve out something that will sustain me and those around me.
But the world doesn't seem to stop long enough for me to do that. Life is one long meeting. And then another and another. And every meeting I attend I manage to volunteer myself for something new. It's time to figure out where I'm going, what denomination I really want to be and look toward the future.
It's also time to head home. The janitors are here. I've never been at work this late before.
I'm seeking stability. In 24 years I have not yet managed to create for myself a peaceful place where I am safe and sane. The twenties seem to be the decade of "in-betweens" and "what next?"
I have an income and a place to rest at night. What I need is to stop searching and look at what I have. I need to take the tools and the bits and pieces I've been given and carve out something that will sustain me and those around me.
But the world doesn't seem to stop long enough for me to do that. Life is one long meeting. And then another and another. And every meeting I attend I manage to volunteer myself for something new. It's time to figure out where I'm going, what denomination I really want to be and look toward the future.
It's also time to head home. The janitors are here. I've never been at work this late before.
9.07.2006
moving...again
So the really nice couple next door offered to rent a bedroom and bathroom to me for an amount that by Spokane standards is very minimal. I have mixed feelings about no longer being a Westminster House missioner....but I'll still be in the neighborhood.
I happened to mention to my co-workers yesterday that I like to write adn that it would be totally cool to write for the Inlander. Another co-worker who I didn't even realize was in earshot approached me today as I browsed the Spokesman Review in the breakroom and asked about my comment. I told him I'd interned at a newspaper office in highschool and written an article for The Figtree. I also free-lanced for local papers while in college. Turns out he has a connection with the editor of the Inlander and might be able to get me some writing opportunities. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I happened to mention to my co-workers yesterday that I like to write adn that it would be totally cool to write for the Inlander. Another co-worker who I didn't even realize was in earshot approached me today as I browsed the Spokesman Review in the breakroom and asked about my comment. I told him I'd interned at a newspaper office in highschool and written an article for The Figtree. I also free-lanced for local papers while in college. Turns out he has a connection with the editor of the Inlander and might be able to get me some writing opportunities. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
9.02.2006
one year
So, I've been in Spokane one year.
It's been an eventful year to say the least. I participated in two weddings, found a boyfriend and felt my spirit renewed by his love and attention. (One of my most telling journal entries reads "Just when I thought life could get no stranger, I met a man in a kilt." It was only the second time I'd met Jon, and I was volunteering at Global Folk Art.)
I met many people this year, mostly Presbyterian, grew to adore the girls next door to Westminster House. I promoted Westminster House at two churches, volunteered at a Fair Trade Sale and a Fair trade store, travelled to North Dakota three times, and introduced Jon to my family in North Dakota.
I learned about liberation theology, and Calvinism and atrocities in Guatemala and Gambella, Ethiopia and Colombia.
It's funny. I'd intended to spend the year holed up in my room, preparing for seminary. I spent some time holed up in my room, but I spent more time out and about with Jon meeting people and doing things. But I didn't move much closer to seminary. Although I did preach two sermons and become a missionary to Guatemala. And could I have moved closer to seminary? Would I get a good recommendation now if I applied? Can I handle the East Coast? Am I called to Princeton as I once thought perhaps? Am I closer than I realize?
And I learned a lot about myself this past year. I've learned that the simple words "You're amazing" can empower and enliven.
I've learned that there are many people who care for me and I'm eternally grateful for that fact.
I've learned that I'm not necessarily comfortable relying on myself and just because I WANT to do something I dont' always find the gumption to reach out and do that something.
I've learned how easy it is to make mistakes, to not listen to the voices I should listen to and to listen to the voices I shouldn't. I've learned that a stubborn spirit will lead you nowhere and compromise is a good thing. I've believed in myself the most I've ever believed in myself this year. And I've believed in myself the least. And I've learned that I am not called to believe in myself, but God. I cannot rely on myself, only God.
It's been an eventful year to say the least. I participated in two weddings, found a boyfriend and felt my spirit renewed by his love and attention. (One of my most telling journal entries reads "Just when I thought life could get no stranger, I met a man in a kilt." It was only the second time I'd met Jon, and I was volunteering at Global Folk Art.)
I met many people this year, mostly Presbyterian, grew to adore the girls next door to Westminster House. I promoted Westminster House at two churches, volunteered at a Fair Trade Sale and a Fair trade store, travelled to North Dakota three times, and introduced Jon to my family in North Dakota.
I learned about liberation theology, and Calvinism and atrocities in Guatemala and Gambella, Ethiopia and Colombia.
It's funny. I'd intended to spend the year holed up in my room, preparing for seminary. I spent some time holed up in my room, but I spent more time out and about with Jon meeting people and doing things. But I didn't move much closer to seminary. Although I did preach two sermons and become a missionary to Guatemala. And could I have moved closer to seminary? Would I get a good recommendation now if I applied? Can I handle the East Coast? Am I called to Princeton as I once thought perhaps? Am I closer than I realize?
And I learned a lot about myself this past year. I've learned that the simple words "You're amazing" can empower and enliven.
I've learned that there are many people who care for me and I'm eternally grateful for that fact.
I've learned that I'm not necessarily comfortable relying on myself and just because I WANT to do something I dont' always find the gumption to reach out and do that something.
I've learned how easy it is to make mistakes, to not listen to the voices I should listen to and to listen to the voices I shouldn't. I've learned that a stubborn spirit will lead you nowhere and compromise is a good thing. I've believed in myself the most I've ever believed in myself this year. And I've believed in myself the least. And I've learned that I am not called to believe in myself, but God. I cannot rely on myself, only God.
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