Surely you're joking.......

• Fed-ex delivered the package to your NEIGHBOR? Was the driver dyslexic that day?
• Your customer service has REALLY been THAT HORRIBLE? I mean, we get a bit touchy sometimes, but we do try to be polite.
• oh good! you liked the gloves...and you're ordering two more pair? That's not a joke, that's a person I like.
• YOUR dog chewed through your watchband and you're being irritable with ME?! Train your dog!! You expect free expedited shipping? Get over it.